Lately, I've been thinking alot about people, and love. Not love in the romantic sense, but in the wider, all encompassing sense; overflowing warm and pink sparkly love. The kind that just makes you happy, the kind that overflows without an end towards your friends and family, the people that are kind to you, the people that make you happy just by existing. I've been thinking about how easy it is finally, to love so many people that way, and how it makes everything so much nicer. I love all my friends that it make me happy just to talk to on AIM, or reading their blogs. I love Anna-san and Maiko-san, who make me happy just by being in the same lesson room as me, and being their wonderful warm, geniune, joyful selves. I love all the Ryugakusei, and all the students from JWU that take time to talk to us, and who enjoy our company. I love all my friends from Bunkyo. I love Namie, and MAX, who make me so happy with their songs and just watching them on TV, those personalities I've known for so long. I've been thinking about how is love enriches everything, how people, and loving people is really what life is about. How easy it is. And how pointless it is to hate people, especially for stupid or pretty reasons, like Hamasaki Ayumi. How much nicer it is to kind of like Ayu. I think my goal now is to love everyone I can. And hopefully that's connected to becoming a less selfish person, and to being someone that makes people happy, just by being with them. That's the kind of person I want to become. That's what I want. ƒAƒ“ƒi‚³‚ñ‚â–ƒˆßŽq‚³‚ñ‚̂悤‚ÈŽ©‘R‚È‘Ï‚¦‚¸‚Ɉì‚ê‚Ä‚­‚é’g‚©‚¢—D‚µ‚³‚ð–ÚŽw‚µ‚½‚¢‚ÆŽv‚¢‚Ü‚·!

 
Well, I've finally seen Namie live!! Although the waiting, and the actual seeing of Namie were really disproportionate. LOL I got to the studio an hour early because I'd been paranoid about time, and then we ended up having to wait outside from the 'meeting' time (5:30) until almost 7. The 'end' time was written as 7:30, and after they had us wait for 10 minutes in the hallway, it was already 7:25. Finally they let us into the studio wear it would be filmed. There was the stage, all set with lights and whatnot, and then a small space for all of us to stand. (Hey^3 is standing room only for the guests). Being number 161, I was about two rows from the very back, so it was hard to see over everyone's heads. This dude came onto the stage, and taught us to clap and scream when the song started, and then clap to the beat for the rest of it. You have to do this with your hands raised in the air, which of course makes it even harder to see anything. Finally, after making us practice a couple times, the dude announced that it was time. First the back dancers came out, walking out from a blacvk curtain to our right side onto the stage. You could see them all really closely. then, from underneath the curtain, I saw black boots, on really slender legs. They were of course, Namie's legs. Then the dude said, 'Amuro-san!' And out came Namie! Everyone craned their necks to try to see her, so it was harder to see her than the back up dancers, but I from what I saw, she looked just like on TV. We all screamed. When she went up onto the stage, I saw her back, and her tattoo on her arm very clearly. She's very small. And her face is very small, and her nose is very small. She really looks just like on TV. Except she seems whiter because of all the lights. I had to stand on my tiptoes, and all I could really see was her face. And even that I couldn't see for long, because she kept moving (cuz she was dancing), and people's arms and hands kept moving. Also dry ice blasted at one point. It was all very surreal. To see her live like that. It almost seemed like I was watching her on tv, since I'm so used to doing that. Her voice also sounds just like on TV. She's very good, of course. It was hard to take everything in though, really. It was all so fast, and I was so concentrated on trying to see all of her that I could. It was just all really surreal and dreamlike, because I mean....it was Namie. After all this time. After the song was over, she left, smiling, (she turned and smiled at us bedore the song began as well) and we all yelled.
Then we waited alittle while, and finally the dude came back out and said that they were going to do it again. I saw Namie's boots again from under the curtain, moving back and forth.
Then we did the whole thing all over again. The second time was better, because I could actually see her face for extended periods of time. I have a distinct memory of her fingers in her black glove for a moment as well.
It was all so fast, it was hard to get a lot of impressions from it all. But I'm really glad I went. Because I definately saw her. And I heard her. Even if it was fragmented. I have a memory of her now, live.
My Namie that I've been following for 5 years. And my final impression of her was....she's...Namie.
The Namie that I've seen on TV and video for all this time. She's just the same. She's just Namie.
And yet tonight, she was really there, 3-D, in the same room as me. On stage in front of me. She had left the studio only minutes before me.
Next time, I hope I get to see her for longer. Thinking about it though, we were actually really close. Because I could see all the details of her features pretty clearly. I"m really glad I went.