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Alias...Mina, Claudia,Kamui,Skids, Eiko,Edori,A-chan
People I respect/People that are cool
Ooh, a harem of men!
Hana-kimiNanba-senpai,Sano
And some cool girls! |
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Thursday, April 25, 2002
Well, I'm just about through with this week: I finished my Odysseys paper, and my EAL final. Now I just have to get through Gods and Mortals and Japanese, and then the week will be over. Then I just have to finish/send my study abroad applications, and do my presentation/paper. I don't know...I feel like lately it's been 'I just have to get thru this class', or 'this assignment', or 'this day', or 'this week', or even 'this year'. I don't have time to enjoy anything, or may there;s nothing to enjoy? With all this just getting thru everything. I'm so busy, it makes me think of what Li-chan said about getting so busy you lose sight of yourself. And then, the thing is...once I 'get thru' it all...then what? Do I really have something to look forward to, or am I just blindly walking the path set out in front of me, doing as little as need be to get by, like always? Ima ha...'chuutohanpa' toiuka 'nantoka' ikiteiketeru youna ki ga shite...iya nano. Even with study abroad next year...what with Yama-sen and Nemoto-sensei all saying 'mottainai', about KansaiGai and that they have high expectations for me, ect....even I'm starting to think if I another place would have been best for me...if I should have really taken advantage of it all, and found the best place/program for me. Probably, but it's kinda too late now. If only they had all said this stuff about programs earlier, if they'd helped me figure out which would be best...because how am I supposed to know? So they have no one to blame but themselves, and I have no one to blame but myself, really. And it's not the end of the world, I can always take translation classes at night like Nemoto-sensei suggested, ect. I just have to make the best of wherever I go. It's the same with the summer. Aside from a job, I should take singing, and cooking lessons if I can, actually DO something. Maybe then I won't hate summer so much... Not that any of this really solves my problem of my life NOW. And I think I'm too busy to do anything but what I am right now....too busy to think of any other way, and without the physical and spiritual leeway to start it even if I did thing of a different system.....
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